Love Thyself

Originally written By Daykeyla McGee April 16, 2020 

💖Love of 'thyself' is an important step for those who seek spiritual enlightenment and eternal joy. Personally speaking, the journey to self-love is a road driven between peaks and valleys filled with moments of uncertainty. Sometimes, the sun is gleaming in front of you, and the smooth path can be seen clearly, but then darkness falls, and your eyes can not make out the winding path ahead that is plagued with craters. The monsters of your negative core beliefs developed in your childhood, waiting in those craters. They wait. The moment you begin to walk past them, they pop out of the crater to scare you, hoping that you will run back to the unhealthy place you built to feel safe. The most important thing to remember when seeking healing and self-love is to take it one day at a time. One step at a time.

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt. - African Proverb

Inner Me Enemy

You are your worst enemy. We all have that little voice that constantly reminds us of why we aren't good enough. Think back to your childhood, and you will realize that these negative thoughts aren't your own. Every day, your mind repeats those thoughts subconsciously, which means you have been mentally and emotionally abusing yourself for years. Today, I encourage you to change those thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.

What Does Self-Love Look Like?

🩷Putting your personal health and happiness first. Take care of yourself, and then you can help others.

🩷Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and let unhealthy relationships go. 

🩷Being alone doesn't scare you anymore. You seek alone time to reflect, recharge, and regroup. 

🩷Appreciating yourself as you are. Don't compare yourself to others. 

🩷Knowing you are valued as a human, worthy of a fulfilled life, and great love. 

🩷Giving yourself grace. Learning and growing from mistakes, without condemning or punishing yourself. 

🩷Holding yourself accountable for your actions, working to correct bad habits and behaviors.

🩷Taking positive steps to evolve, learn, and grow. Embrace the journey because you are an ever-changing being.

My Journey
When I started on the path to self-love, I began by working on changing my mindset and its negative thought patterns. I'd watch sermons, repeat positive affirmations, attend therapy sessions, and work out at the gym weekly. It's not easy changing something that I believed about myself since childhood. For a day or so, it seemed that I was beating the negativity, but then the little voice would come back saying, "You're fat, you're ugly, and no one would ever want to marry you." Why are these my thoughts, and where did they come from?

Events such as this would cause me to become discouraged in my progress; things weren't changing. Fighting the feeling of failure, I continued my daily routine of reciting positive affirmations, listening to sermons, and taking care of my health by going to the gym. Self-reflection helped me pinpoint that negative voice and where it came from. Listening to it and then digging back to find where it originated helped me win a lot of victories against my inner enemy. 

Who Told Me I Wasn't Good Enough?

-A personal excerpt from my diary

As a child, I was teased by other kids for being chunky, having shorter hair, bigger lips, and a darker complexion. All the commercials and television shows portrayed fairer-skinned women with long hair and slender waists as being the most beautiful. This conditioned me to believe that I was ugly, my waistline measurement mattered, and I could never be loved.

I want "me" to know that none of this is true! You are smart, beautiful, creative, radiant, powerful, Queen, and everything in between.  

 

Where Should You Start?

Feed your spirit everything positive! Rediscover that old hobby that makes you happy. Slow down. Stop for a moment. Take in the fresh air, smile, laugh, dance, and sing. Pay close attention to your thought patterns. Take note of what your negative thoughts are. 

What are they saying? When did they begin? Is there a catalyst that causes different logic? Since negative thoughts are difficult to eliminate entirely, write positive affirmations on post-its and stick them to your bathroom mirror, work locker, work desk, and wherever else you find relevant. The post-its will remind you to think positively about yourself.

Start keeping a journal. Write about everything that occurs in your mind that you feel is significant. You can list the negative thoughts and the positive affirmations you use to battle them. Record your nightly dreams. They may have deeper meanings and may reveal information about your subconscious mind. Don't be afraid to write down your goals and what you wish to achieve. You may need help healing from very traumatic childhood experiences, just as I did and still do. Therapy would be the best start because speaking with a mental health expert can help you identify your thinking process or negative core beliefs. A therapist can help establish a plan for change and track your progress. Seeking help from a professional is nothing to be ashamed of. Remember, taking care of your health is a part of self-love.